Animal Tales, Blog, Seen Thru New Eyes, Wolves | January 28, 2010
A wolf pair often moves in perfect unison. In one photo I took, the wolves are in full run, the left front paw of one in precisely the same position as the left front paw of the other. The first time I caught it in a photograph I thought I was brilliant, but since then realized it is a frequent form of communication. They hunt as one unit, in some wondrous form of exchange with one another. Stunning harmony. It is a beautiful thing to see. 
Animal Story, Blog, Wolves | January 21, 2010
We take Windsong, a 16 year old wolf, out to a safe fenced area every day to get her dose of sun and fresh air. But dimmed as her senses are, when we approach to bring her back in she gets quite lively and makes it very clear where she wants to be. Each day more so. Her home, she decreed, has moved. As we lead her back to the cabin she races as fast as 112 year old legs can and makes her intentions and desires quite apparent. We are getting worried. First Cucumber, then Little White Girl, now Windsong. Is word getting out that if you get sick or infirm you get to go in the cabin and if you behave in there they don’t have the heart to put you back out? Our cabin is not big enough for two dozen wolves…..
Animal Story, Blog, Wellness & Spirtuality, Wolves | January 13, 2010
As she recovered, Little White Girl became a handful in the cabin, It was clear that there was no way a big healthy lively wolf of her caliber could stay in any longer, much as she loved the camaraderie. We had the additional reason that ancient Windsong, Earthfire’s last living sibling, was having trouble getting up on her aged legs in the cold. We brought her in to the warmth and comfort and smells of living/room/kitchen. It is interesting how different animals age. Stardance, another sister, who just passed away a few weeks ago, had the same parents, life events and treatment. She was graceful and quick until her last five days, and alert right to the end. Windsong has been half in another world for several months now. Yet she continues living on, slow and steady. The only thing that claims her attention in this world, as with any good wolf, is food. She totters her way around looking for it when not sleeping.
Watching her lying quietly one early morning I thought about how rare it is for a wolf to be able to be on this earth to such a great age. An intuitive friend of mine, given to such things, said she feels Windsong is gathering wolf wisdom to share with the Great Council of departed wolves. With my mother, as she became less and less aware, less able to speak, her spirit started to shine through She became more luminous. Ancient trees seem to have a wisdom and dignity too. I wonder about the universality across species of gathering quiet wisdom as one ages.
Animal Story, Blog, Wolves | January 7, 2010
Pathetic Cucumber
Little White Girl had been in the house two days. Because of space (our cabin living room/dining room/office/infirmary is 12 by 18 feet) that meant Cucumber had to be ousted as we weren’t sure if the two would be aggressive and Little White Girl needed peace for recovery. We at least brought Cucumber in for her dinner and breakfast so she wouldn’t feel totally abandoned. The first morning she was not her usual self — instead of bounding into the cabin and wolfing down her food, she walked in haltingly, eating with lack-luster. The second morning she barely dragged herself into the cabin with tiny little halting steps, her back legs almost collapsing beneath her. Her eyes were bleary and she looked as if she had aged 20 years. Because of her history I called the vet, worrying that something had gone wrong with her stomach again — perhaps she had a twisted bowel? She looked awful. Words simply cannot convey how pathetic she was.
The vet was unavailable until the morning so we rearranged the living room, brought in a second cage, blocked the two cages from sight of one another, and brought Cucumber in for the night, for warmth and observation. We didn’t get much sleep with all the worrying and tumult. Little White Girl couldn’t make it through the night and had to be walked past Cucumber to get to the door for a 3 AM walk. Cucumber, knowing exactly what was happening even though she couldn’t see it, got agitated, which meant she too had to go out. Talkeetna, our malamute, locked in the bedroom, carried on mightily when she heard the two intruders in the living room getting special attention, and demanded to go out — but we had to wait until first Little White Girl, then Cucumber were finished, locked back in their cages, blocked from each other, and then Little White Girl blocked from sight as we had to take Talkeetna within inches of her cage to get to the cabin door.
In the morning we staggered up wearily to check on Cucumber. She looked up at us with bright eyes and danced on her back legs with impatience for her breakfast which she wolfed down. She looked 20 years younger, all signs of pain and trauma and gone. We were beaten once again. And what was a two-wolf New Year’s Eve, is now turning into a two-wolf January.
Blog, Wolves | December 29, 2009
The day before Christmas we did an urgent operation on Little White Girl (a Large white wolf but when we got her she was little). She had been rapidly losing weight. It was supposed to be 10 below the next few days. It was major surgery, her abdomen was shaved and she had 20 metal staples in her belly, so we brought her in the warm cabin to heal. We spent a reasonably peaceful couple of days and nights. She sucked up all the love and attention and homemade chicken soup made just for her, fed every two hours. She emanated contentment. She lay quietly next to us during our eggnog and Christmas Eve and Christmas Day dinners, enjoying the companionship and the warmth. She adjusted so easily to the house life that we let our guard down. The third morning we went to visit some friends for an hour, bringing our dogs with us, leaving her alone to rest, we thought. We returned and opened the door upon wolf devastation. She was still in her large cage but in her attempt to get out of it had somehow maneuvered it across the living room floor, completely pushed out the sliding bottom insert upon which she had been standing, pulled up all the metal framing underneath it, pulled off the table cloth that we had laid across the top of the cage over a large piece of plywood to serve as our Christmas area, pulled off the Christmas tree; scattered the 750 pieces of a puzzle we had been assembling all over the cabin (how I don’t know, as she was still in fact in the cage). Fortunately Jean, wise in wolfly ways, had double chained it with big clips in addition to the locks that came with it. Water had been widely splashed across the room As we entered she put her ears down and whined and wagged and greeted us with several minutes of pure ecstasy. Pure happiness. We petted and she pushed hard against our hands, eyes closed. She circled a few times, gave a grunt of satisfaction, and lay down to relax. We were back. Wolves are creatures of very intense family feelings and a good deal of vitality and ingenuity with which to express them. Never abandon a wolf.
Animal Story, Wolves | December 29, 2009
Piddle Paddle was a resident wolf at Earthfire Institute. One day she woke up paralyzed in her hind legs. The vets suggested we put her down, but we felt she was not ready to die, so we took her home. Through great will and determination she beat the odds and could walk again. Piddle Paddle showed us her passion and determination to live.
Animal Story, Blog, Wolves | December 18, 2009
The chance to die peacefully, in our own time, is not granted to every being.
Stardance stayed with us for five days, lying quietly on the living room floor, moving only to reach water. She seemed at peace. Every now and then she would look up, fully alert and intelligent, then sink back down to rest position. We offered her food, treats, homemade chicken soup. She would take some a few laps of the soup but actively sought the water, drinking with some vigor. It reminded me of a story I read of an old grandfather in Appalachia who one day decided he was ready to die. He lay in his bed attended by his loving family, refusing all food, drinking only water, as he slowly, peacefully, slipped away. Most of the time she did not seem to be with us but every now and then, right to the end, she would look up, eyes bright with intelligence.
The evening of the fifth day I caressed her and lay down next to her to sleep. She had still had those moments of alertness all day. I awoke four hours later to find she had left her body, probably just after I had fallen asleep. She had been such a strong presence in our living room, it somehow did not feel right to bury her immediately, as if part of her had not yet gone. We honored her body and buried her the next day in our graveyard, where all the Earthfire animals are buried. Whatever one makes of it, to all appearances her face looked as if she were laughing for joy.
While I personally am on the conservative side on these things, I know there is more going on than I understand, so I consulted with Penelope Smith, the founder of the interspecies communication movement. She has dealt with thousands of animal passings. She wrote “Stardance went peacefully. She is grateful for the expansion of her passage allowed by the natural death. She tells me that she spent two days before her departure with the Great Wolf Council, going over her life and all the wisdom she encompassed. When it was her time to go she was embraced by the Elder Spirits and went in grace, peace and light.”
For those to whom it may bring peace, she has written a book called Animals in Spirit, Our faithful companions’ transition to the afterlife.
Animal Story, Blog, Wellness & Spirtuality, Wolves | December 15, 2009
Are human and animal passings the same process? When you think about it, is there a reason they wouldn’t be? Life, regardless of form, passing into formlessness; embodied and then gone. I was talking with a friend about Stardance’s last few days on earth, and how Penelope mentioned that Star was grateful for the extra time – that she was in and out, spending some time on this side, some time on the other side, making the transition. My friend exclaimed “That’s just how I experienced my father’s death!” In a book authored by a hospice nurse she reported instance after instance of the same sense for nurses attending to those passing; those who because they were in hospice had the luxury of time instead of being torn away by some sort of violence or sudden death. That they moved back and forth, partly on this side of the veil, partly on the other. That was my experience of Stardance’s transition.
Animal Story, Blog, Wolves | December 2, 2009
Stardance, beloved Stardance, black wolf with golden eyes; independent, focused Stardance, is now 15 ½ years old. We found her a few days ago lying down shaking in a corner. It was cold but not so cold that a wolf should be shaking so we brought her into the cabin for observation. It soon became clear that she was on the path to dying but she did not appear to be suffering. Our vet diagnosed a tumor on her heart, ultimately fatal. She had swelling in her legs because her heart was not functioning properly, and as we walked her into the cabin she lost control of her back legs.
The ever present question when you have a being you love, at the end of their time on earth. Do you help her pass? Do you let her take her own path, easing her suffering as you can? So many perspectives.
Our vet, humanely, suggested we put her to sleep to end her suffering. But Tibetan Buddhists believe that if you interfere, you are disrupting their karmic path – that this is something that is necessary in their life. And my own question: when a person has cancer and is suffering we make them comfortable but never consider putting them down. How is it different with animals? Another thought: how often do people who are suffering ask to be put down? Almost never. Most people want to live as long as possible, even in the throes of intense suffering. Why, actually, when you think about it, should animals be different? Are they? What assumptions are we making? We all have the same basic emotional brain structures and a passion to live.
It has been five days since we brought her in and she appears to be resting comfortably, going through her own process. That would have been 5 days, so far, taken from her. Her presence fills the cabin with the bitter-sweetness of life; the sadness but the richness as she brings forth the age-old question we all have to face and re-face anew.
Wolves | November 20, 2009
Some more details:
The first time in the house, even sick as she was, Cucumber acted as you would expect a wolf to – wild, restless, destructive, and definitely not house-broken. Even three months in the house did not modify her behavior. Then she went out for a year, but was able to see a new malamute puppy move in. Not only a puppy but a female puppy! A queen supplanted. Daily she saw it go in and out and in and out. She was not pleased. We knew this by her unsubtle displays of rage.
When we brought her in again after her second operation we couldn’t put our finger on it but just had the feeling that she felt: At last! True it was just a feeling and could have been our imagination, but her behavior was totally different. She 
was calmer – positively angelic from a wolf point of view, not tearing everything to shreds, not jumping up on everything that had a surface…but most of all she house-broke herself! Even though she had diarrhea AND is 9 years old! She would ask us to let her out and she tried really hard to hold it in…
She howls the wolf abandonment howl when we put her out for the day for sun and exercise and company. She ignores available wolfly company, clearly preferring the house dogs (the male ones), snubbing other wolves – perhaps because they have higher perceived status being in the house? She rushes in at warp speed when we bring her in at night. She asks for affection and bonding with great verve and frequency and has a pleased look much of the time, especially when she steals Talkeetna’s(the malamute puppy’s) toys if we forget to put them away. The light in her eyes is constant and she often is wearing a big wolf smile. To be continued.
Tapestry of Life by Hannah Thomas
