Earlier this year my cat Fred died. Over ten years ago, we found Fred in our backyard dirty, with marks of possible abuse. Needless to say, it took awhile for Fred to trust people again. We never gave up on him and over time he learned to trust his new people family. The cat that we used to call “Grouchy Kitty” turned out to be a big mushy cat who loved to snuggle and give you head-butts.
The one fear that Fred never got over though was that of the vet. Hiss, meow, bite and scratch. He always put up a fight. Then when we would get him home he would hide for days after the visit. So after one rather tough day at the vet, I vowed to Fred, that unless it was an emergency, that would be the last time he went to the vet.
A few months before he died, we noticed that Fred was getting skinny and slowing down. He was constantly hungry, but would throw up if he ate too fast. I struggled with the notion of taking him to the vet, but I just couldn’t do it. If he didn’t have much time left, I didn’t want him to be scared. I wanted him to be peaceful.
The day he died, he curled up in his favorite spot. His breathing was very labored. I sat with him on the floor. After awhile, he picked his head up, gave me and my husband a last meow and then he went still. It was of course a sad day and I questioned if I had done right by Fred. In my heart, I knew he did not suffer, but my doubting brain was second guessing my decisions.
Looking for a diversion, I hopped on the internet clicking on anything to distract my chatty brain. The next thing I know, I am on a website for a peace conference that was going to be held in my home state of NJ. On the website they had this graphic.
All of the sudden, the letters popped out of the screen. Fred. It turns out that “fred” means peace in Norwegian. My brain stopped its chatter. My heart took over and I knew that I had done right by Fred and I thanked the Universe for the validation.
As we here in the United States gear up for Thanksgiving, I thank the Universe for continually sending me the signs I need, the time I had with Fred and for the feeling of Fred, Norwegian and furry, in my heart.
Karen Auld is the founder of the Society of Ultimate Living (SOUL).
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What a beautiful story and what a gift that graphic was!!
Comment by Andrea — May 25, 2012 @ 7:06 pm
I loved your sweet story about Fred. What a gift from God Fred was. I am sure he taught you many things especially about love. I have a senior furry child too and I am aware that she is coming to the winter of her life. Buffy will turn 14 years old this June. She has slowed down and sleepd more than aver but remains anxious to walk twice a day. My child is an Icelandic Sheepdog.This breed is not big but rather medium size(35 lbs). I do not know how I am going to live without her and dread the day we part. She is my constant companion and friend. She will always be in my heart as well. Stay well, Paula
Comment by Paula Thomas — May 25, 2012 @ 11:06 pm
What a moving story, and a very special name for him! Most of my cats and dogs have been helped to cross over in the end (one of the cats even lifting her paw up to the vet, here at home) but one I had made the same promise to… It took her a night to make the transition, with me holding her and dozing off and holding her again, and finally I woke up and she was gone.
Whenever I questioned these difficult moments I would hear her voice in my head ‘it wasn’t you alone, we made a deal, remember?’ and I will know again, for some it is the best to go the whole distance by themselves, with love and support to help them.
Comment by Jessica — May 30, 2012 @ 6:52 am