She was born one half the size of the others in her litter. She was so weak and little she couldn’t hold her head up. She was a wiggling little sausage that looked like a Cucumber, and so, Cucumber she became … though sometimes we called her Cutecumber.  Her brothers and sisters, so much bigger and stronger, were pushing her out of the way at feeding time.  But she was a child of love between Cloud and Moonbeam, so instead of letting nature take its course, Moonbeam nursed her with gentle care to give her a chance at life and we were blessed with her care.  She grew up into a half-size wolf – a miniature.  But not in spirit!!!  She has a special zest for life and a strong spirit.  She has great courage and spunk.  She was our only wolf, ever, who lept off the top of the waterfall in the Wildlife Garden into the pool below.  She dominated wolves twice her size.  She personally thought she needed to be with our biggest wolf, Wild Presence.  She selected him as her companion.  She barely came up to his shoulder.  Two years ago, at age seven, Cucumber became very ill. She was losing weight rapidly.  Our vet did test after test with no clear result except that she had an infection.  Powerful antibiotics did not help.  She was down to less than half her weight and shaking.  The vet on call was Summer, who said the last resort was an exploratory operation to see what was wrong, but that she was probably too weak to survive it.  Since she was going to die anyway, and she was wolf, and she was Cucumber wolf with extra spirit, we decided to try it.  We sat with her as she was prepared for the operation.  We told her how important she was.  We sat outside the operating room door through the several hours of the operation, sending energy and love and prayers.  She had severe peritonitis – but why? And why had the antibiotics not worked?  Then the vet found it – one part of her intestine had slipped inside the other and created a blockage so no food could go through.  It had become infected and died.  Summer cut her intestine in two and removed the dead portion.  A huge operation for a little wolf who was already so weak and had such a big infection.  Summer kept looking anxiously at the monitor, expecting her life sign to stop. But they didn’t.  She made it through the operation.  And she made it through the critical 24 hours.  And the next 24 hours.  We brought her home as soon as possible, and into our cabin for round-the-clock nursing care.  It was the dead of winter and with her shaved belly she needed the warmth so she could use all her strength to recover.  We monitored her anxiously; followed a precise regimen of various medications every couple of hours.  We hovered.  She began to gain weight – her intestines working!!!!! Food was going through (a mixed blessing).  It was a couple of months before she began to regain her strength.  We took her out for walks but she was eager to get back into the cabin.  She slowly recovered, but she really liked being in the house.  But as winter rolled into spring, and she stabilized, we felt the house was no place for a wolf and put her back out with her companions.  She wasn’t happy about it – she looked often and longingly at the cabin door, but we were resolute — a wolf needed to be with other wolves, not in a cabin.  One day two years later, something called me over to her.  She was looking at me, shaking, mutely asking for help.  Back to the vet. With great reluctance, Summer said we needed another exploratory operation.  This time, based on tests, Summer cut open her stomach.  Again she had to come back in the cabin for recovery – it was the dead of winter.  She was weak.  Her belly was shaved.  We made her delicious chicken soup and tried to get her to drink a little every two hours.  She really liked the attention.  She really liked being petted and told how important she was.  She really liked being back in the cabin.  This time she recovered more quickly, even though she was nine.  But it was winter and her belly was still exposed.  So we let her stay.  And stay. Eventually we tried to put her out only to hear heartrending howls. Back in she would come.  Happiness. Out – tragedy.  In – happiness.  All the months she had been in the house, two years ago and now, we had the issue of overactive intestines and the ensuing result.  We would put her out after each “accident” while we cleaned, then back in she would come.  We had in our mind that as soon as the weather warmed, she would move back out. As she recovered however, to our utter amazement, it began to dawn on us that she had housetrained herself.  With tremendous racket, she let us know that she had to go and despite her overactive intestine, managed to control herself until we could let her out.  (Unfortunately, for us, that was a couple of times a night.)  It was as if she had made the connection that if she was not housebroken, we would not let her stay.  She, a nine-year-old wolf, a species that cannot be housebroken, has housebroken herself. We can’t say for sure how or why.  All we know is that she did it.  She also no longer jumps on the counters, shreds curtains or otherwise indulges in typical wolfly pastimes.  She behaves, mostly, like a model canine. We were, and are, astounded. What should we do?  She has tried so hard.  Put her out — tragedy.  Let her in — a laughing, smiling wolf happily pacing her personally claimed territory (our cabin).  Her frequent requests for affection alternate between unutterably sweet, or wild exuberance (wolf joy is dog joy intensified times ten).  Pretty hard to resist.  There is glee in her eyes when she races in and a bounce in her step in the cabin. Do we put her back out???  For now we have reached a compromise – in at night for dinner, attention and sleep.  Breakfast.  Then out for the day.  Not good enough for her. She still gives heartrending howls upon being put out; rushes into the cabin at full speed, paces around laughing and happy. She has made her decision.  Against all odds, she is a contradiction in terms, a house wolf.  Right now she is lying next to me, very pleased with herself, very pleased with life.  The little wolf that barely made it has demanded and broken down our defenses and our principles. That determined little thing has won.  And knows it.  Her coat is glossy and she is back to normal weight.

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